“life will be better in spring”

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'Oh Lord, are you testing me? If You are, I don't think I will be able to take it'

'Sin is no longer your master, for you no longer live under the requirements of the law. Instead, you live under the freedom of God's grace' -Romans 6:14(NLT)

God. Why are You so hard on me?

-Rejected by Leeds University-
still waiting for 3 more schools. PRAYPRAYPRAY.

What a weird and freaky night in camp. Needed to stay in yesterday because I had IPPT this morning. We slept at 2230 so we could have our 'at least 7 hours of sleep' for the next day. At 2 am or so, I woke up due to a clear distinct noise that was located on my right below me. Directly on my right is my locker and below me was my duffer bag. I'm not too sure how to describe the noise to you, but it sure sounded like the clicky thing around the face of an analogue watch. I was trying not to scare myself and told myself that it should be a rat biting on items in my duffer bag and should find shreds in it if I check it. I was still freaked out at the same time. The noise lasted for one and a half hours..till the time I feel asleep cause I couldn't care anymore.

Still a little freaked, I woke up and went to do IPPT. Managed to get a silver. Yah to additional $100.

Okay, so I went to check it out and I didn't find any shreds or had any signs of rats living in my duffer.rah.

I'm so trying not to stay in if I really don't have to.

I'm so glad that cell is officially back for AF. It's just so important and crucial for NS guys to survive and to stay on track with God. It's has definitely been a tough time without cell cause AF cell has been the one that keeps me focused on God. I'm looking forward to stepping up as senior to help the group as much as possible. Hope that everything will go well for the new guys, and I know that God wants to do something awesome for us.

I want to grow. So much more. For a simple reason : because I became so much more matured after becoming a christian.

I think it's the 1 year soldier syndrome. sucks man. I wanna ORD now. Don't wanna do no SAF day...

I need You. I want You. I love You. Let every breath be Yours to take.

I realized that I no longer have someone that I can talk to about everything and anything. They seem to be busy, just not around or just not the right person to talk to. It leaves me hanging on certain issues and progress is just impossible. I may act strong on the outside, but I'm actually really destructible within. I guess that my weakness I'm trying to hide. I pray that God would do something about it soon.

EAT MORE FRUITS AND VEG! SO I'LL FALL SICK LESS OFTEN!

one that feels like taking 2 weeks mc to recover from whateva sickness I had since 4 weeks ago. I needa start training for IPPT and Sundown! argh.

"Christianity is not a door mat for people to step over. Stand onto our legal rights when we are suppose to."

TWITTER IS PISSING ME OFF. CAN'T EVEN LOAD.

There is an anger building up. why.

I hate being looked down upon, it's something that ticks me off. This time by my mom. So what if I don't have good results? I don't think that applies to everything right? And you think that I can't manage my time properly? Trust me, I'm gonna show you I can score well for SATS. Just wait. There was always a big doubt in your support. I'm disappointed.

It's really great to talk to friends about the things that happened before in our lives. It's only after 2 years that we got into the details of such things, which can be quite amusing. I'm imagining when we are in our 40s having and having our chatty gathering and leaving the kids to rot at the side. Now then I understand why my mom talk so much when she meets up with her Taiwan friends while she just ignores me. It's because those are our treasured memories that gives us life.

Alas, we not only find happiness in our past but also regrets. Regrets that hurts. Sometimes, regrets are part of our life lessons and I do regret certain decisions I have or have not made in the past. I've already moved pass it long ago, but it still dwell in that gray area of the mind. I just don't want to make the same mistakes and disappoint myself again.

"The Lord's unfailing Love surrounds the one who trusts Him"



I planned to blog. But gotta sleep already. Got stupid ASM tmr. Nights.